You only live once- the time we worked on a swingers cruise

We were sitting in our apartment in Florida, relaxing. I had been looking for work on Craigslist, when all of a sudden I stumble onto this ad for work in exchange for a free cruise. Free? Cruise? I’d never been on a cruise before, and free sounded good. We drove to Tampa for the interview- and realized we would be working on the very first lifestyle cruise (swingers cruise) and we decided that we could not pass up the opportunity. We got paid $$$, got a free cruise, and we only had to work 4 out of the 7 days we were on board.

I always say, when in Rome…..

I’m somewhat of a nudist- and not shy when it comes to talking about sex- or any embarrassing mishaps. So we were kind of excited to see what would happen on a cruise ship with 2,000 swingers.

YOLO. Because You Only Live Once.

Our jobs were classified as chambermaids. We were in charge of a ‘playroom‘. A playroom was where the swingers could have crazy orgies. No, seriously. Our responsibilities included: changing the sheets after a bed was used, handing out condoms, making sure the music was playing at all times, and to not allow any single males into the playroom. Single ladies could enter, but men had to be accompanied by a woman to get in.

Some wild shit went down in this rooms. We’ll never forget.

We took our jobs seriously because we were getting paid and we wanted to make sure everyone had a great time. And we are sure that they did.

Chambermaid. That’s what I got paid to do-change sheets.

You’ll have to excuse the poor quality of the pictures- we took them all on our iphone.

We worked late night shifts- arriving around 11pm and working till about 4 or 5am. There were 2 playrooms on the ship- the one we worked in was an exercise room converted into an 8 bed orgasmic retreat where there were no rules except making everyone in it happy. At least that’s how it sounded in there.

He also did double duty as the condom distributor.

A typical night went something like this:

  • Make sure the housekeeping had set up big bins of clean sheets and towels.
  • Make sure we had enough condoms for our bucket.
  • Get a walkie-talkie in case of any emergencies.

We decided the easiest way to organize the beds was to number them. So we had a system- couples would enter the playroom, usually dressed in outrageously awesome outfits, or wearing next to nothing. Once a couple finished on a particular bed, we’d keep track by peeking our heads in and checking. We’d then take turns going in with the terminology “changing bed #5”, “looks like bed #3 needs more towels”, ect.

Doorman/Bodyguard/Chambermaid

The funniest part was making sure the CD that the company had provided for us stayed on. Every 90 minutes or so we knew we’d have to check and the only way to start the CD over again was to enter the playroom (the shy need not apply-lots of dicks and tits flying everywhere) and slither our way past some feet and a bare ass (or 10) to slide the glass door open enough to hit the remote play button. People were so nice to us- they rather seemed to enjoy asking us for things in the middle of a sex session “hey, can you get us some water?” or “oh god I need a towel, I am so sweaty!” things of that nature.

The only mishap was one night this poor girl got sick in the playroom- the best part was, as she was vomiting- everyone else around her just kept on swinging. No one even heard her or just chose to ignore it. Her boyfriend was very nice at carrying her out, and shortly after that we shut down the playroom to clean up the mess. Which I photographed. Warning : vomit shot coming up.

I know it looks like shit. But its just a big pool of yak.

We have to say that those swingers (or people in the lifestyle) were some of the most crazy fun awesome people we ever met. Most were older, and having the time of their lives. Kids in college and they are free to act how they want, was how some of them described it to us.

The whole cruise was nude so it was nothing to roll up for breakfast and have some tittays with your coffee and pancakes. We took advantage of the festivities by drinking (then I went for a naked swim) and partying and dancing with them during the night parties on the nights we had off. Every night had a different theme and they really dressed up for it.

They sure knew how to have a good time.

Mike and a whole lotta ass.

We went to Belize (which we had just come back from a few months earlier so we were excited to go back) Roatan, and Grand Cayman Island. Mexico was in there too but unfortunately the swine flu kicked in while we were on board so we had to skip it entirely. We tanned, went zip-lining, cave exploring, got influenced and did some naughty things in the ocean, danced till we sweat like mad and generally had the best time ever.

We planned on working it again for their first Halloween party ever but then it was cancelled.

We’re not lying- we really did work on a swingers cruise, the first of it’s kind : USA Today Interview Part 1  USA Today Interview Part 2

And this is where it all went wrong: Swingers Sex Cruise Lawsuit  The ‘Sexually-Oriented’ Cruises that Earned an SEC Complaint                   

It was fun while it lasted. 

Tell us, would you have worked this gig? Oh, the stories we could tell……… 

47 Comments

  • Lavanya says:

    Wow.. what a story indeed! Totally the kinda thing you wanna do at least once in a lifetime huh. It got me thinking whether I would’ve taken the chance to work on such a cruise like you did, and maybe couple of years ago i wouldn’t have.. but since I’ve taken off on my own rtw trip recently.. I realise you always have to try everything once – So hell yeah!!

  • Alouise says:

    I don’t think I could work on swingers cruise, although only working 4 out of 7 days is a pretty good deal. This certainly sounds like it was a pretty crazy adventure.

    • Mica says:

      It was the craziest thing we’ve ever done. Not sure how we will ever top that. I agree though it’s not for everyone. But we were surprised to see the diversity of people on the cruise- people I would have never thought of were on it. And they were truly nice people.

  • Jaime says:

    Oh wow that is crazy… sounds like so much fun. I don’t know if I could do it though. I think I would giggle every where I turned. When I went to a nudest park in Germany… my 1st one ever I couldn’t help but turn into an immature lil kid… I was giggling the whole time. Oh & I wasn’t even nude… Yeah so much for being mature!

    • Mica says:

      I go to the nude beach quite a bit in Florida so I have seen my share of swinging dick, lol! If you are squeamish about nudity, then yea you probably would have cracked up. But, we were briefed and we knew everyone would be naked. I think the giggling was because you were nervous! Not immature. And when they are paying you, you’re just like ok, lets get the job done so we can go to shore too! We totally would have done it again. And we are NOT swingers, just like free cruises!

  • OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell yeah! There is no way I could have done this so brav-freaking-o to you and your man!

    • Mica says:

      It was completely trippy and such a hilarious memory! My mother was like….wait, free cruise? I want to go too! I’m like not this time mom!!!

  • Chris says:

    Holy crap. Everytime you post or update a status you gain a little bit of coolness in my eyes. What a randomly awesome job.

    The closest I’ve come was briefly dabbling as a stripper >_>

    • Mica says:

      Thanks Chris. Glad to be ‘that cool kid’. Rather than then anything else! You were a stripper? Did you write about this? Holy shiznitz!

  • That is so freakin’ awesome that you got to use walkie-ralkies!! 😉

    • …better make that walkie-Talkies. Roger that.

      • Mica says:

        “Um…we got a situation here….this girl just threw up in the playroom…” “Did anyone notice?”….”Not yet…” “Ok, shut it down.” ….”Wait people are still bangin’ in there!”….”Turn on the lights and tell them to hurry up and cum or get out and finish somewhere else!”…..yeah. Roger that.

    • Mica says:

      We ralkied it up man. For days.

  • how do i say it? it’s a cool job? haha! though i don’t like the vomit part though. LOL

    • Mica says:

      Haha! I know. Poor girl. And the vomit looked like poo! I am sure we have all drank too much though!

  • You are my heros for jumping in, swimming like locals, and enjoying every moment. We do only live once and I love that you guys don’t just say it but are living it. Congrats for saying yes to something way outside the “norm” and sharing it.

    • Mica says:

      Awww thanks Warren :-) You do only live once, that is so true. And I am not shy by nature, so this was a great job for me. I know it’s not for everyone, but we love looking back on this…the craziest job ever. I mean, I do have to have good stories to share when I get to be of rocking chair age, you know? This is one of them!

  • Holy crap!!! This is one hell of a story!!! I love it!! Don’t know if I could do it. Well, if I had someone like you egging me on, I could …

  • LOL Haha that’s one crazy job! I am curious about it though haha 😀 Maybe i can do that job as long as there’s no picture taking allowed and it won’t be in Southeast Asia LOL. Tell me more stories when we meet =))

    • Mica says:

      Too bad they aren’t doing it ever again. But if anyone ever does, I will sign up and make sure to sign you up too!

  • Grace says:

    I cannot believe it! They have a swingers cruise ship and you worked on it. Awesome story.

  • Haha that is completely random. Good stuff going through with it though as it provided an awesome story! Definitely would not have been able to do it myself.

  • Annie says:

    LOVE IT!!! I like to think that I’d be comfortable enough to do this but I don’t know if I actually would. What a great experience though (I mean, it was wasn’t it?).

    HIlarious.

  • This has to be the most asstastic travel post I’ve seen yet! Cool beans.

  • Cathy says:

    Gosh!!!!!!! I wanna try this LoL It’s Vitamins for d Eyes ROFL

  • Laura says:

    This is hysterical!! I was wondering why I hadn’t heard about these cruises. I can’t say I’d go on one, but this just goes to show that there really is something for everyone in the travel realm :)

  • Mike says:

    Wow! I can only wonder how the smell of the playroom was. BTW nice tat…couldn’t help but notice :)

  • Mike Lenzen says:

    Wow. All we need now is some billionaire to self fund the next cruise. Investors are too touchy these days.

    I can still hardly believe this existed, and you worked it.

    • Mica says:

      For real. They gotta lighten up and take the money and run. I did, and we would do it again in a heartbeat!

  • Joe says:

    You guys actually worked at a swingers cruise?! This is stuff you should have elaborated on during our time in Kota Kinabalu, that sounds insane! Your blog is great, having a lot of fun reading it here in Sri Lanka when there’s not much to do. Anyways, heard you’re on your way to Egypt, Jill and I want to go there to dive in not long. How long ish will you be there for?

  • Joe says:

    Ok yeah we were thinking the earliest in early march when we get back from Canada, so that doesnt work out then! Forgot you were going there immedeately. Are you gonna dive there? Our paths may cross soon again!

    • Mica says:

      I am. Or I think I will be diving when I get to Jordan in early February. I’d love to cross paths with you guys again.

  • Gojko says:

    haha, i was working on deck that time, this is pic taken on Carnival Legend

  • TessnBob says:

    Hey Mica, I’ve got a job for you! Check out Couples Cruise, we have already had 5 cruises and another 6 more upcoming charters. Unlike Yolo, we have been in business for 17 years, so we aren’t going anywhere.

    We need help on board and we are looking for bloggers, so you two would be perfect! Contact Minx at [email protected] and anyone reading this that is interested in Clothing Optional Cruises, check out our website and see you on the Sea!

    Bob Hannaford

    • Mica says:

      Hello Bob,

      How wonderful to read about your website! We’d love to see how we can help out, I’ll be sending an email to Minx to see what we can do! Thanks for finding out post and leaving a comment!

      Cheers,

      Mica

  • Ramon says:

    Hello Mica,
    i understand this post is a couple of years old so I know i might not get a response.
    My wife and i are interested in working on something like these. it sounds very fun.
    We are a safe carefree couple looking for fun and exciting. We want to travel and explore different cultures and countries.
    We are tight on money and were wondering how can we apply for something like these.

    thanks for your help

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