You only live once- the time we worked on a swingers cruise

We were sitting in our apartment in Florida, relaxing. I had been looking for work on Craigslist, when all of a sudden I stumble onto this ad for work in exchange for a free cruise. Free? Cruise? I’d never been on a cruise before, and free sounded good. We drove to Tampa for the interview- and realized we would be working on the very first lifestyle cruise (swingers cruise) and we decided that we could not pass up the opportunity. We got paid $$$, got a free cruise, and we only had to work 4 out of the 7 days we were on board.

I always say, when in Rome…..

I’m somewhat of a nudist- and not shy when it comes to talking about sex- or any embarrassing mishaps. So we were kind of excited to see what would happen on a cruise ship with 2,000 swingers.

YOLO. Because You Only Live Once.

Our jobs were classified as chambermaids. We were in charge of a ‘playroom‘. A playroom was where the swingers could have crazy orgies. No, seriously. Our responsibilities included: changing the sheets after a bed was used, handing out condoms, making sure the music was playing at all times, and to not allow any single males into the playroom. Single ladies could enter, but men had to be accompanied by a woman to get in.

Some wild shit went down in this rooms. We’ll never forget.

We took our jobs seriously because we were getting paid and we wanted to make sure everyone had a great time. And we are sure that they did.

Chambermaid. That’s what I got paid to do-change sheets.

You’ll have to excuse the poor quality of the pictures- we took them all on our iphone.

We worked late night shifts- arriving around 11pm and working till about 4 or 5am. There were 2 playrooms on the ship- the one we worked in was an exercise room converted into an 8 bed orgasmic retreat where there were no rules except making everyone in it happy. At least that’s how it sounded in there.

He also did double duty as the condom distributor.

A typical night went something like this:

  • Make sure the housekeeping had set up big bins of clean sheets and towels.
  • Make sure we had enough condoms for our bucket.
  • Get a walkie-talkie in case of any emergencies.

We decided the easiest way to organize the beds was to number them. So we had a system- couples would enter the playroom, usually dressed in outrageously awesome outfits, or wearing next to nothing. Once a couple finished on a particular bed, we’d keep track by peeking our heads in and checking. We’d then take turns going in with the terminology “changing bed #5”, “looks like bed #3 needs more towels”, ect.

Doorman/Bodyguard/Chambermaid

The funniest part was making sure the CD that the company had provided for us stayed on. Every 90 minutes or so we knew we’d have to check and the only way to start the CD over again was to enter the playroom (the shy need not apply-lots of dicks and tits flying everywhere) and slither our way past some feet and a bare ass (or 10) to slide the glass door open enough to hit the remote play button. People were so nice to us- they rather seemed to enjoy asking us for things in the middle of a sex session “hey, can you get us some water?” or “oh god I need a towel, I am so sweaty!” things of that nature.

The only mishap was one night this poor girl got sick in the playroom- the best part was, as she was vomiting- everyone else around her just kept on swinging. No one even heard her or just chose to ignore it. Her boyfriend was very nice at carrying her out, and shortly after that we shut down the playroom to clean up the mess. Which I photographed. Warning : vomit shot coming up.

I know it looks like shit. But its just a big pool of yak.

We have to say that those swingers (or people in the lifestyle) were some of the most crazy fun awesome people we ever met. Most were older, and having the time of their lives. Kids in college and they are free to act how they want, was how some of them described it to us.

The whole cruise was nude so it was nothing to roll up for breakfast and have some tittays with your coffee and pancakes. We took advantage of the festivities by drinking (then I went for a naked swim) and partying and dancing with them during the night parties on the nights we had off. Every night had a different theme and they really dressed up for it.

They sure knew how to have a good time.

Mike and a whole lotta ass.

We went to Belize (which we had just come back from a few months earlier so we were excited to go back) Roatan, and Grand Cayman Island. Mexico was in there too but unfortunately the swine flu kicked in while we were on board so we had to skip it entirely. We tanned, went zip-lining, cave exploring, got influenced and did some naughty things in the ocean, danced till we sweat like mad and generally had the best time ever.

We planned on working it again for their first Halloween party ever but then it was cancelled.

We’re not lying- we really did work on a swingers cruise, the first of it’s kind : USA Today Interview Part 1  USA Today Interview Part 2

And this is where it all went wrong: Swingers Sex Cruise Lawsuit  The ‘Sexually-Oriented’ Cruises that Earned an SEC Complaint                   

It was fun while it lasted. 

Tell us, would you have worked this gig? Oh, the stories we could tell……… 

47 Comments

Comments are closed.